The other day I was almost hit by an e-bike that was as fast as it was quiet in my hometown of Amsterdam.
I didn’t even get angry, it was the umpteenth time that such a Van Moofmafike cycled me upside down.
You don’t hear those things coming either.
Strangely enough, I did think about the past.
Thinking of a solution to this current problem, my thoughts slipped back to my childhood.
To a beer mat and a clothespin.
And if they were placed somewhere near your front wheel of your bike, you could generate a rattling sound.
As if you already had your first Puch or, better, Zündapp, as an eight-year-old.
With a bit of empathy, that is, but we had that in abundance at the time.
Little to do, few distractions, little money, big imagination.
Good times.
And that worried me again when I walked through the city center a little later.
Whole legions of teenagers who have been directed via TikTok to the same cookie shops, artisanal chip shops with truffle mayo and import chip shops where they sell those cheese flips soaked in hot sauce for eight euros a bag.
And I saw that recently in London.
When headless lemmings follow yet another trend.
Somewhere in China, an evil genius sits in the office of TikTok who cruelly thinks about where he or she will send the Western Teenagers next… What goes viral?
That’s actually an appropriate word.
So we are indeed talking about a virus here.
Logically, the reaction of the target group will be something along the lines of ‘ Your grandfather is fine.
Go for a bike ride with your beer mat …’ And that’s how it should be, in a way, that the younger generation is pitted against the older ones.
But do you have that too, that you think: if only it was because they drank too much beer instead of Red Bull, spontaneous hormonal loving rumbling in the bike shed instead of a days-long tinder trajectory and then meeting in the Barista Babes Social Club for a Skimmed Milk Chai Red Velvet Eritrean Vegan Roasthouse Blend to see if it ‘clicks’.
Or that they don’t record their entire holiday on Social Media with their duckbill selfies but are just untraceable for two weeks and God knows what they are up to.
But I think it’s only the next generation that says, ‘ So Mom, Dad, you had phones and everyone could see where you were and what you were doing.
Grandpa and Grandma too?
Hahaha.
What losers you were.
I’m going out the door.
Where?
It’s none of your business! ’
